### Why Do We Self-Sabotage? Understanding the Cycle of Harmful Choices
Change is hard—harder than we often realize. Many of us, like my dear friend from high school, find ourselves trapped in cycles of self-destructive behavior. She grew up in a tough environment and later gravitated toward men who mirrored that roughness. These men led her down a path of abuse, addiction, and loss, stripping away her hobbies, dreams, and ultimately, her self-worth.
But why do we choose this path? The truth is, change is incredibly difficult, and what’s familiar, even if it’s harmful, often feels safer than the unknown. Small changes, like quitting smoking, giving up alcohol, or overcoming binge eating, require tremendous mental strength. Yet, these achievements are rarely celebrated, either by ourselves or others.
Without validation, we might revert to old habits or continue making poor life choices, perpetuating a cycle of self-harm. The key to breaking free is to stop seeking validation from others and instead, recognize the massive effort it takes to make even the smallest positive changes. Celebrate your progress daily. When you see others making strides, encourage and validate them too. Remember, the positivity you give to others will always find its way back to you.
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